This piece makes me want to say lots, because that's what the piece does itself. I like all the contrasting, fusing and suggestions that are called up (upon).

There are two places in particular that pull, the title which makes me wonder the why of its sequence and what can be done with it in resequencing. And the two end lines, for some reason visible tributary doesn't come out nicely for me. Maybe it could be turned into "A most visual tributary" The last line to me is a matter of choices as to which word should close, the day or the saccharine in the sense of what should be the lasting impression.

Other than that I like the very calm, almost silent tone despite the suggested sounds and the delicate points of balance that come up.

--
Suture Editor

I'm jus' here and now

im in awe

--
deviant art will ban you for being mean.

Exquisite. I love the use of parallelograms. Your work is always so rich with texture and subtle - but powerful - detail. Very nice, indeed. I've got almost 300 on my watch. Will they compare to this? We'll see...

--
Suture Editor
--
I wish I understood what the fuck I'm saying.

Fucking brilliant my man. You have manipulated imagery with poetic swordsmanship. This is you all over again. I have one issue, though. Parallelograms. It seems to douse the flow you got going, and gave me the only wrap-up i had with the entire piece. Still, the rest holds such an immaculate flow. I'm keeping this.

--
love so deep, kills you in your sleep

yeh, the drunkspoon sent me. i believe that imagery and the images you compare things to are such an important part in writing. maybe they are what make particular peices of writing stick in my head and help me remember particular parts of them. this is the kind of poem that makes me a believer.

but yeh, this is pretty good.

Bravo! I can't say anything that hasn't yet been said, so:

Bravo!

this is how i like to read a good writers writing.

--
_{June 22}

i'm ashamed to call anything else writing.

Thanks for agitating my loneliness.





Good job though, good job...

curled limbo mmm, I can remember. And to only care about one thing amoungst chaos, love.